It was professor smith's first day at St. Johns medical college as a faculty.
Known for his teaching excellence, he made his entry into a classroom of 1st year medical students, where he received a warm welcome from the students, followed by their intro.
To start with, he planned to put forth a question to the class.
He said, "Well students, before we start off with today's lecture, let me ask you a simple question on human anatomy".
He gazed across the classroom, spotted a female student Suzie, and said,
"Tell me Suzie, which part of the human body grows 10 times its original size when excited?"
Hearing this question, Suzie's face grew pale in embarrassment, she replied:" you should be ashamed to ask such a question to a female.
I am sorry, but I can't answer your, this question".
Thwarted by the girl's reply, professor smith rolled on his sight around the classroom afresh, to find out if there was anyone else who could satisfy his query.
This time he located a male student Henry, who had already raised his hand in affirmation to answer the question, and allowed the lad to go ahead.
Henry answered: "pupil of a human eye" The professor applauded for the boy's accurate answer; then turned back to Suzie and said:"Look, Suzie, I am sorry but, I must tell you a couple of things:
(1) You lack knowledge
(2) You have a dirty mind and
(3) Your Expectations are too high !!!!!!!(10 times........huh......MY GOD!!)

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place it in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying,
"Jesus is watching you!"
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard,
"Jesus is watching you."
Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest upon a parrot.
"Did you say that?" He hissed at the parrot.
"Yep," the parrot confessed, and then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who the heck are you?"
"Moses," Replied the bird.
"Moses" the burglar laughed. "What kind of stupid people would name a parrot Moses?"

"Probably the same kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus," the bird answered.

A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it."
He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track?
'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I went there to bet on."
She shrugs and walks away.
Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She answers, "Your horse called."

One winter morning a couple was listening to the radio over breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."
Norman's wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."
Norman's wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..." Then the power went out.
Norman's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"
With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to Blondes exhibit, Norman says...
"Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill his schedule and the only one available was wildlife Zoology.
After one week, a test was held.
The professor passed out a sheet of paper divided into four squares.
In each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird's legs. No bodies, no feet, just legs.
The test asked each student to identify the birds from their legs.
The student sat and stared at the test getting angrier every minute.
Finally he stomped up to the front of the classroom and threw the test on the teacher's desk. "This is the worst test I have ever given."
The teacher looked up and said: "Young man, you have flunked the test. What's your name?"
The student pulled up his pant to the knee showing his legs and said: "You tell me"

1. Continually eating food processed from a microwave oven causes long term, permanent, brain damage by "shorting out" electrical impulses in the brain [de-polarizing or de-magnetizing the brain tissue].
2. The human body cannot metabolize [break down] the unknown by-products created in micro-waved food.
3. Male and female hormone production is shut down and/or altered by continually eating micro-waved foods.
4. The effects of micro-waved food by-products are residual [long term, permanent] within the human body.
5. Minerals, vitamins, and nutrients of all micro-waved food is reduced or altered so that the human body gets little or no benefit, or the human body absorbs altered compounds that cannot be broken down.
6. The minerals in vegetables are altered into cancerous free radicals when cooked in a microwave oven.
7. Micro-waved foods cause stomach and intestinal cancerous growths [tumors]. This has been a primary contributor to the rapidly increased rate of colon cancer in the United States.
8. The prolonged eating of micro-waved foods causes cancerous cells to increase in human blood.
9. Continual ingestion of micro-waved food causes immune system deficiencies through lymph gland and blood serum alterations.
10. Eating micro-waved food causes loss of memory, concentration, emotional instability, and a decrease of intelligence.

A young lady is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.
She says: ''You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I'll open the door for you''
The boyfriend says: ''Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?''

"Oh my God!! You're not coming empty-handed, are you?''

Apple's i phone is to debut in India after more than one year of its inception on 22nd of August, 2008 by two leading cellular operators Vodaphone & Airtel.

It’s a great computer, or rather, a great mobile internet device—probably the best ever made—and it’s a pity that it’s debuted in the country before 3G networks are up and running. I still wonder as to why Apple is playing double standards everywhere it launches its products. It did not release a 3G version in places where 3G is widely used and now in India where penetration of 3G is almost NIL it releases only phones with 3G capability. Can anyone tell me the percentage of mobile users who use net extensively on their cell-phones. Think about it!!!


MINUSES:

-SMS can't be forwarded or copy-pasted.
-No external memory option.
-Blue tooth can be used only for hands free calling.
-Camera does not have flash, auto-focus, optical zoom and video recording facilities.
-Options to transfer contacts from phone to the SIM card and select multiple contacts are unavailable.
-THE PRICE! At Rs 36,100 for 16GB model and Rs 31,000 for the 8GB model-against $300 and $200 respectively in the US-iPhone 3G looks a luxury.


PLUSES:

-Pictures can be expanded or shrunk or moved around by literally squeezing them with your fingers.
-Assisted Global Positioning System Google Maps comes pre-installed.
-Net browser Safari render web pages better than any browser on any mobile device.
-You can download applications ranging from games to encyclopedias to social networking tools from Application Store, the online marketplace.
-The 3.5 inch screen puts your gaming experience on par with hand held devices of Nintendo and Sony, and it has loudspeakers Push mail and enterprise-grade data security.

• Don't smoke- Experiment from experts proves that smoking a cigarette after meal is comparable to smoking 10 cigarettes (chances of cancer is higher).
• Don't eat fruits immediately - Immediately eating fruits after meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Therefore take fruit 1-2 hr after meal or 1hr before meal
• Don't drink tea - Because tea leaves contain a high content of acid. This substance will cause the Protein content in the food we consume to be hardened thus difficult to digest.
• Don't loosen your belt - Loosening the belt after a meal will easily cause the intestine to be twisted & blocked.
• Don't bathe - Bathing will cause the increase of blood flow to the hands, legs & body thus the amount of blood around the stomach will therefore decrease. This will weaken the digestive system in our stomach.
• Don't walk about - People always say that after a meal walk a hundred steps and you will live till 99. In actual fact this is not true. Walking will cause the digestive system to be unable to absorb the nutrition from the food we intake.
• Don't sleep immediately - The food we intake will not be able to digest properly. Thus will lead to gastric & infection in our intestine.

It's the lowest number that is evenly divisible by every single digit number.Here's a breakdown of how 2,520 divides into each digit from 1 to 9:
number ---divided by ---equals
-----------------------------------------------
2,520-------------1-------------2,520
2,520-------------2-------------1,260
2,520-------------3-------------840
2,520-------------4-------------630
2,520-------------5-------------504
2,520-------------6-------------420
2,520-------------7-------------360
2,520-------------8-------------315
2,520-------------9-------------280
NOTE
1 x 2 x 3 = 6. Six is the smallest number divisible by 1, 2 and 3.
1 x 2 x 3 x 2 = 12. Twelve is the smallest number divisible by the 1, 2, 3 and 4.
1 x 2 x 3 x 2 x 5 x 7 = 420. This number is divisible by 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7.
1 x 2 x 3 x 2 x 5 x 7 x 2 x 3 = 2,520.

As you know chemical released by plastic water bottles can cause cancer (It is not the water that affects you a but the chemical released from the bottle)
How to avoid: Check the bottom of the bottle there should be a triangle sign and there will be a number on it. If the number is higher than or equal to 5 --> then this bottle is safe to use. Numbers under 5 will release the chemical. For most bottled water, the number is 1. Remember to check and stop reusing those bottles.