PROFESSOR : Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jantey ho?
MUNNA BHAI : Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.
CIRCUIT : Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI : Aye Circuit, woh Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT : Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI : Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT : Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.
MAMU : Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL : Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?
CIRCUIT : Bhai, woh apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI : Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT : Nehin Bhai, woh apnay chain pechan lega.
MAMU : Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Tamil sikhna padega. Kuch upay batao.
MUNNA BHAI : Kannada kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai?
MAMU : Meinay ek Tamil baccha adopt kiya hai, aur woh char mahinay mein bolne lagay ga.
PROFESSOR : Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI : Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.
MUNNA BHAI : Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT : Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI : Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT : Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.

Circuit takes a flight to Singapore and he is seated next to an Englishman. Circuit open his tiffin and serves himself a roti.

ENGLISHMAN : What is this?
CIRCUIT : Bread India

Circuit then open the box of jalebi.

ENGLISHMAN : What is this?
CIRCUIT : Sweet India With all the food he hogged on, Munna farts. The Englishman is offended and in shock asks …
ENGLISHMAN : What is that?
CIRCUIT : Air India
CIRCUIT :Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU : Nehin.
CIRCUIT :To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.
MUNNA BHAI : Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU : Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI : Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.
MUNNA BHAI: Mamu, tu kitna pada hai?
MAMU : B.A.
MUNNA BHAI : Sala, two akshar pada aur woh bhi ulta?
MAMU : Oye, maar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hai.
MAMU KA DOST Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.
CIRCUIT : Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
SHORT CIRCUIT : Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.
PRINCIPAL : Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu