A-Z of a Successful Relationship!
A = ADJUSTMENTS. Successful relationship is all about adjustment and compromise - a spirit of give and take. Both partners have to make adjustments. Don´t try to make the other over in the likeness of your image. Speaks Sheetal, married for seven months: "I made the mistake of trying to change Rishi. One day he turned on me and said, "You knew who I was and what I was before we got married. That is whom you fell in love with " I was instantly cured of my reformatory habit!"
B = BLAME GAME. It is very easy to say: "It’s your fault." It’s hard to look at ourselves and ask: "What’s my part in creating the difficulties between us?" The problem with blaming is that it never solves anything and it nearly always triggers a negative reaction. When each of us blames the other, we deny our partner the opportunity to think seriously about our words and to respond in a thoughtful manner. So what’s the antidote to blaming? The answer is simple: Take responsibility for yourself. Its hard to give up that feeling of being right but try looking hard at what your part is in creating the conflict.
C = COMMUNICATION. Good communication is the foundation of any successful relationship. Try and communicate rationally, sensibly and be sensitive to your partner’s point of view. You have to be aware about the other person’s feelings and emotions, if you want to build a good channel of communication. Just your awareness of the other person’s feelings and state of mind goes a long way in establishing that much needed telepathy.
D = DESIRE. Ultimately, that’s what fuels a relationship. Think of sex as a slow, sensuous dance. Explore your partner’s entire body. Hold him or her like you never want to let them go. This will help you feel connected with your partner and genuinely loved.
E = EMOTIONAL IDENTIFICATION. You have to strike the correct rapport for any relationship to succeed. You could be married for years, but if you don’t share that special connection, your relationship could feel vacuous. So make sure to share those special moments with each other. If you give your full attention when he or she talks to you, it becomes one of those romantic gestures. And you know how you re always trying to be "more intimate"? If you listen to your partner more, he or she’ll think you are being more intimate. All you have to do is pay attention; It’s that simple.
F = FORGIVE AND FORGET. Has your partner done something that you feel you just cannot forgive him or her for? If the relationship is worth salvaging, try to forgive and forget. Perhaps this is a solitary mistake your partner has made in the heat of the moment. Sometimes the understanding between couples after an affair helps them resolve old forgotten issues and start anew. Yet, if you feel, that this is an incident that will happen again and again, then you should consider ending the relationship a very real option.
G = GIVE. 100% of yourself No relationship can be successful without the unique ability to give something of you to it. The more you give to a relationship, the stronger it becomes and the more you get back from it.
H = HONESTY. You cannot build a relationship on the basis of deceit! You have to build trust in a relationship. That trust comes only when you both are completely honest with yourselves. Build your relationship on a foundation of integrity and honesty. Be honest with yourself and your partner. The truth might hurt but in the long run, respecting your partner´s opinions for being honest and truthful will lead to a greater degree of closeness. Ask yourself how genuine you are with your partner; how willing you are to be open and vulnerable, to reveal yourself and all that really matters to you. Reveal the things that you´ve never revealed to anybody else and glow in the comfort of "It´s ok". Revealing yourself is what unlocks your love.
I =
J = JEALOUSY. Does the green-eyed monster rear its ugly head in your direction often? It happens to the best of couples. Jealousy is an emotion that is capable of destroying every ounce of intelligence in a person´s mind - not to mention the destruction it can wreak upon a relationship. Jealousy is a negative emotion. It may be understandable in the early stages of a relationship when feelings of insecurity run deep. It may even be flattering at times, but if it spirals out of control it can get pretty ugly. Jealousy is not an emotion based on love, it is an emotion that´s triggered more by a fear of not being loved. It´s time you asked yourself what you´re really afraid of and why.
K = KARMA. Whatever you do tends to come right back to you. Just believe in the circle of life, and you will never go wrong.
L = LAUGHTER. It´s about sharing and having a secret joke which you both can always laugh about. Laughter is the way to unlock the hidden keys to each other´s subconscious. It´s about laughing off the bad times and treasuring happy memories.
M = MEANNESS. Sometimes we go into a quiet place and indulge in all those mean thoughts that can be hurtful to the people we love and to ourselves. So abandon all those petty and irrelevant thoughts, because the only person they will end up hurting is you.
N = NEVER SAY. "NEVER AGAIN" Remember all those times when you make up in your mind that you are never going to put up with that certain something that irritates you about your partner? Relax. Never is a very long time for percolating over anything.
O = AN OPEN MIND. When you want to keep a relationship going, then you have to accept many individual characteristics of your partner you may not necessarily like. If you keep an open mind about these qualities, then you will certainly benefit. It´s better to keep resentment about your partner´s few habits out of the way.
P = PATIENCE. Patience is an integral virtue in any successful relationship.
Q = QUALITY TIME. You need to carve out space and time for just the two of you. Do not begin to take each other for granted or crowd your life with other activities and social commitments. For the bond to remain special, spend quality time with each other.
R = RESPECT. Respect is not included in your marriage vows, yet it is central to a lasting, satisfying relationship. You have to appreciate the separateness of your partner his or her unique characteristics. This will pull you closer together.
S = SPACE. How often have we heard of that phrase, "I need space?" Everyone needs space to grow and evolve. Even in a marriage, you need to have space to develop individually. A relationship can become claustrophobic and you can lose your individuality, unless you consciously give your partner space. And, equally important, make some carve out space for yourself.
T = TRYING TIMES. This is the true test of any relationship. Those who stick together in those times - when the bills might be unpaid or your partner might be temporarily unemployed - are the one´s who have achieved the equation of perfect understanding and caring. It´s these times that show us our own mettle and that of those we care for.
U = UNDERSTANDING. If you can understand the insecurities of people when they are going through a bad phase, and accept them for who they are without trying to change them, then you´ve got it made.
V = VACATION. It´s those secret moments you spend with the people you love away from the hustle and bustle of the world. Take a little vacation together, it´ll be a fond memory for the rest of your lives.
W = WIDENING SPACES. It may be a simple drifting apart or just a difference of opinion but it´s so easy to let go and let the gap between two people widen. A few missed calls, words left unsaid a few too many times and before you know it, your relationship has yawning chasms it never did. Keep those channels of communication open.
X = XTREME MEASURES. We all take extreme measures to help our own relationships with people and remove the deadwood from their and our lives. These are the firm steps we have to take to protect the people we love, sometimes from themselves.
Y = YELLING. Every relationship can´t always be hunky dory, so if you need to scream at each other, then go for it. All relationships pick up a certain amount of dead weight sometimes, so if you need to hurl angry words at each other, then do so. Just remember, not to say anything hurtful because this is about solving issues, not creating new ones.
Z = ZEROING IN ON A PROBLEM. You know that the most effective way to iron out trouble spots in any relationship is admitting that they exist in the first place. So before you start generalizing about the impassive state of a relationship, zero in on the one thing that is really troubling you.
Golf is not a game of great shots. Its a game of the least misses. The people who win make the least mistakes
